Then the Starr said, "Yippee!"
And galloped on down
Toward the Hill where the Pols
Lay a-snooze in their town.
All their speeches were quiet. They were all getting blown.
In the stage where they all were just starting to moan
And tell all their staffers to forward the phone.
"This is stop number one," the old Starr subtly hissed
And he climbed up the stairs, his report in his fist.
Then he gave his report. It was lurid by far.
But, if the Enquirer could do it, then so could the Starr.
Then he slithered and slunk, in the eyes of the nation
Around the whole town with his bald accusation
And the Starr had the liberty bell firm in his fist
When he heard a small sound and a hand grasped his wrist.
He turned around fast, and he saw a House member
Though the zipper closed fast in the cold of December.
The Starr was then asked by this House representative
Who'd got up the courage in a voice oh so tentative.
He stared at the Starr and said, "If Clinton can't lie
and get lots of blow jobs ... why, then neither can I!"
But, you know, that old Starr was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my innocent friend," the Starr ably pandered
"The Prez must adhere to a much higher standard".
And this fib fooled the Rep. Then Starr patted his head
And he got him an intern and sent him to bed.
He tucked in that member, and shut off the lights
And then Starr went and stole the whole Bill of Rights
"Pooh-Pooh to the Prez!" he was Starr-ish-ly humming.
"He's finding out now no more blowjobs are coming!
"He's just waking up! I know just what he'll do!
"His mouth will hang open a minute or two
"Then the Clown in the White House will cry OH-BOO-HOO!