Star Wars Rules
Everyone on the web is always typing "Star Wars Rules".
Thought you might be wondering exactly what those rules are
...........Don't wear brown jackboots with a blue cape
....................Don't wear white to funeral of one killed with psychic powers
.......................Regular Moffs pay to park. Free parking places reserved for Grand Moffs
...........Don't tug on Vader's cape or spit into wind
...........White wine with fish, red wine with TonTon
...........Don't invite black sheep Pizza to Hutt family reunions
...........When kissing sister….no tongue
...........Karaoke every Wednesday in the Star Wars Bar.
...........Do NOT use R2 when Dirt Devil malfunctions
...........Chewy not ready for Cycle 3 yet
...........It's Chewy with a "w", not Chevy, dammit
...........Tip from Costas: Don't trust the force in late innings of a close game
...........Regular light sabers better than those gummy ones
The Other Six Star Wars Flicks
Lucas finally contracted out the rest of the nonology. Too bad he couldn't direct the rest of the films himself. He wanted to release them all next year, so he needed to hire six different teams to produce them simultaneously
Aaron Spelling's "Stars"
Are you a small,powerless band of rebels pitted against a mighty Dark Empire? There's one group that can do the job for you: The A-Team. Starring the new cast: Bill Pullman as Face, Jim Kerrey as Murdock, Ving Rheames as B.A., and Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal. "I pity the fool" that thinks he can use the dark side against these guys.
Ingmar Bergman's "The Seventh Star"
Vader is about to choke a simple peasant lad, when boredom prompts him to let the boy play chess for his life. The kid wins, so Vader declares "best two of three", and they begin the second game. This time, instead of chess, they play "mystery date".
Russ Meyer's "Star Vixens"
Let's just say there are some interesting new curves in Vader's body armor
"Alderaan, R.F.D."
Vader won't let his deputy, Barney, use the force on speeders and drunks.
Cubby Broccoli's "From Dantooine With Love"
"Kenobi ... James Kenobi". Obi-Wan drinks his foaming green drink frappéd, not blended.
"Bill and Ted's Tubular Trek"
Our heroes get into some scrapes with that "Imperial Ugly Dude", but defeat him with the help of historical personages, including 13th President Millard Fillmore, Saxon King Ethelred the Unready, and Timex spokesman John Cameron Swayze.
"Starfeld" (Thanks to Georg in Kapp, Norway)
Jerry Skywalker uses the Force to discipline the Soup Nazi, with Han George'o working to keep his free parking space with the Death Star Yankees, with Princess Elaina having trouble with the un-princely language of her last flame, who is a Yellow Starcab-driver - and with Darth Kramer spending the film passing through doors in his own, special way and fighting his way into the Alliance's fridge. By the way: With that hair, you can understand why he would want to wear a helmet.
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